Spending time with our kids
Your high school daughter rather be on the phone all night than schmooze with you?
Your teenaged son rather spend his free time on the basketball court than inside DMCing?
Your toddler rather get attention by spilling out all the toys and running away from you?
Welcome to the real world… where there are not enough minutes in the day to accomplish all that you would like to get done. And not enough children around at the right time to spend time with!
Welcome to the real world… where your son animatedly shares about his science experiment while the soup is bubbling over, your little one needs a band aid, three other kids are handing you notes and homework to sign and the voice of a automated recording is echoing over the phone line behind you. Can’t he tell it over in, say, an hour instead of heading out to collect and
scrape acorns???
Are you finding it tricky to find enough time in the day to spend quality time with your child?
We all know the power and importance of “quality time,” time spent individually with each child engaged in activities that interest both of you. Yes, we won’t take away from that. Hopefully, soon, as the skies darken earlier and the cold weather sets in, we will enjoy even more of that.
In the meantime, here are other powerful ways to connect…
Send love, gratitude, or any other good feelings from your heart to your child when (s)he is not even present. This energetic bonding positively affects your relationship.
Have the intention of giving to your child at any occasion that you do something for him/her. For example, when you make her favorite supper or buy her favorite snack, have her in mind. When you change all his socks with holes over to new ones because he’s been playing sports in broken floafers (true story!), have him in mind with love. And… let your child know what you do for him/her to make them feel special.
“I made the rice this way in your honor because I know you love it.”
“I went all the way to the store to buy you new uniform skirts since you outgrew them.”
“I tried to reschedule your appointment so you don’t have to miss something special.”
Look him/her in the eye for that one minute of interaction so that it becomes a meaningfully shared moment—a quality moment, even if short!
Seek out your child to see what they’re doing, to show that you care about what they care about. (Ouch! I am guilty of not doing this one enough! Was out the other day calling my son in from the basketball court, and boy, did it mean a lot to him that I watched him shoot and get a basket. Need to do more often- not only to call him in!
Great reminder…)
“Look at you on your bike- you’re professional.”
“Can I see that report cover you’re working so hard on?”
Hugs, kisses and pats… they are never enough!
Most importantly, remember that your PRESENCE is quality time. The calm background
reassurance that you are there for them is the best quality gift you can offer.
All the best,
Rivkie